What a way to start...

The ugly truth of today...  I did NOT start my day sunny side up.  For whatever reason, I woke up this morning in a TERRIBLE mood.  I had planned to go to the gym first thing so that I could have the rest of the day free.  I did not get out of my PJ's until almost noon.   We finally were all dressed and ready to get out of the house.  I think today was the HARDEST day to get up and go to the gym.  I had a 'guilt' moment as Logan said to me -- "mom, sometimes going to the gym is boring for me and I am all alone!"  I tried to explain to Logan that I knew it wasn't fun for him and I was sorry that we were spending so much time there, but it would all be worth it in the long run.  The gym has a nice room with a TV and he sometimes takes his DS and plays it.  It does not hurt him and I know that, but... at 5 it isn't fun to sit and be "good"  :)  His not wanting to go just added to my already bad mood.   I thought of a zillion other things I would rather do.  Being a couch potato was #1 on that list.  I think I was having one of those poor me days.    After going to the gym I did feel better and was glad that we went.   However, the mood did not change!

Once we got home, Todd got all of the Christmas decorations out of the attic and I was sure this would create a happy mood - - - NOT - - - before the tree was up Todd and I were arguing, Logan was mad because he wasn't getting to 'help' as much as he thought he should.  The garland/lights we normally put up around our mantle were not working and that in itself was another problem.  Todd new medicines are NOT agreeing - as I really believe that his levels are way off and his balance is off.  He had several mild seizures today.    So needless to say our afternoon of putting up our Christmas decorations, did not turn into a happy family time.  Once everything was done and the boxes were put up, I realize how beautiful it all really is.  I love seeing all of my churches and  Manger scene with all the lights around it. I will say that watching Logan with his Thomas the Train Christmas track /train around the tree made it all worth while.  He still loves trains. 

You know sometimes I wonder how people do it.  How do work a full time job, keep the house clean, keep the yard done, and make sure that the laundry is done?  The world can creep up on you in a heartbeat.  I let it today.  I feel like I'm always on the GO (guess that is where the name GOGO came from) and never have time for the important stuff like my family.  We are planning to do Logan's birthday party next week (his birthday is on the 9th) and I've not sent one invitation nor taken deposit to the bowling alley for his party.  WHAT?  I normally have it planned a month in advance.  Not this year - so I text'd a few friends and made a very informal invite.  I know mother of the year.  :) 

When Todd got sick, our world was turned upside down and our roles were somewhat changed.  I could say more, but have decided for tonight's blog, I will not.  I say I've accepted it and know that it was all in God's will.   Deep down I know my God has it all in his hands and has complete control over me.  I get it and I love that I don't have to worry about tomorrow!  Some days are just harder than others.  The weight of the world gets heavy when you don't lay your burdens before HIM.

 

until tomorrow!!!!