Refreshment Station - Bent, but not BROKEN!

What a day!  It started as I left the house at 7:45 to meet with Stephanie at the gym.  I'm not real sure at what point, I bent - but I did!!!  As I started my workout, I could feel the muscles began to stretch, or should I say RIP and the sweat began to pour.   I warmed up on the treadmill and then moved on to one on one time with Stephanie.  We completed lunges, side walks,  leg presses, free weights, stretches, and a few of the weight machines.  At one point, I thought (sorry, just being honest) about walking out and never looking back.  I guess I never thought about how hard this was truly going to be.  Why did I think I could do this (I know same feelings I had on Thursday).  As we came to a close, she told me to finish up with the treadmill.  At this point, I thought to myself, I'm done -- I'm finished - I can't push through this time.  You could take my clothes and pony tail and twist enough water out to over flow a horse trough.  Not only was there a major sweat issue, every fiber of my body was hurting and my heart was pounding from my head... How was I going to finish the walk on the treadmill?   Stephanie set it and left to teach her class.  So there I was the ONLY one in the room to see what I did (except for God).  I began to cry (how silly).  I knew that I needed to push through the pain, I knew that I needed to do as she told me.   I'm so mad at myself, I did not finish the entire time she set.  I stopped 2 minutes shy of what she had programmed.   I got my water bottle, towel, and keys and left. 

I got in the car and called Todd to made sure Logan was getting ready for soccer. The more I thought about my workout, I bean to cry again and thought to myself - you are broken - you did NOT finish.  You are a quitter!!!  I hate the word quit!  So here I am driving down the road trying to pull myself together and mad at myself and ashamed that I did not finish the course set before me. 

As I pulled into my neighborhood, a saying (Thank you Jesus) came into my head - My child, you are not BROKEN, just bent.  You are a fighter and this is just Round 1.  It is OK to show my pain.  It is even OK to be scared and to show fear.  It is not OK to forget who my savior is.  It is not OK to allow myself to give up on the possibilities ahead.  It is not OK to NOT finish the journey I am on.  A very good friend, thanks Tonya, posted something on her facebook today and I really needed to see. "Impossible is not a word, it's just a reason for someone not to try!"  For I know all things are possible!

I have so much more to say about this day... but I think I will end with...  Thank you Jesus, for allowing me to fall so that you could once again show your power in my life.  Thank you for showing me that I can do all things through you.    It is through your power and your Spirit that will carry me through this journey.  I give you all the Glory both in my failures and my strength.  In Jesus Name,  Amen